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Cash
Member
Posts: 12
Registered: Jun 2012
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 Posted June 14th, 2012 03:09 AM IP   
A/N BACKGROUND INFO: Derrick Pascal is a patient at Belvedere Institution for the Mentally Ill, and is diagnosed with Explosive Anger Disorder. His story, is that he was raised with abusive parents, his father—who had anger management issues as well—the worst of the equation. Dozens upon dozens of scars line Derrick's body from the altercations with his father growing up, usually with household objects as the weapons used against him. He deals with severe guilt over feeling that he never properly protected his mother who, though not the most nurturing of mothers by any means, was also subject to his father's wild bouts of rage. Derrick, though suffering with unpredictable triggers, is an affectionate, pleasant and charismatic young man, when not having an episode, and loathes every portion of himself that reflects his father and how he was raised.
In this scene, Derrick has just gotten into a huge fight with his therapist, Allison. These are not uncommon, as she pushes his buttons and has a way of getting under his skin. They've just been screaming at each other, and Derrick, who has been released from his 8 day stay in the isolation chamber, is weak, tired and approaching the end of his rope.
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“But I swear to god, Derrick. If you fell apart I would pick up every single shard and put you back together as whole as I could. You have to trust me."
She was softening. Allison had screamed out her returning frustration, tossed it heatedly back in his face with a long-winded passionate speech that Derrick found himself wanting desperately to believe. Like hot grease from a frying pan, the words stung and his first instinct was to recoil, reflexes quick and ingrained, leaving him edging away from Allison and her spitfire retorts. But he deserved it. He deserved her scolding and he knew it, and suddenly he felt helpless. Utterly helpless. Sodden and drowned like mother's snap-dragons trampled in her flooded garden, his strength washed up on the wet gravel driveway of his once-was home. Blood diluted and seeping around grey and white stones, matting in his hair, mixing with mud as his head still lolled against the rock in the flower bed. Filthy like the sentiments spewing from his father's drunken mouth. Beaten, like the sound of the rain smacking against the pavement. Weak like the wheezing breaths his lungs were trying to drag in and out of a broken ribcage.
He was realizing, for the first time ever, that the restraint it took to keep from lashing out in violence was actually painful—it was an ache, deep in his muscles that burned like vinegar poured over an open gash. And the release, that snapping of thinning thread, was unbelievable bliss. Was what he imagined finally dying might feel like after five endless minutes of drowning and fighting for your sorry, delusional life.
But this time Allison had succeeded in knocking the fight out from under him first, crumbling his foundation of anger and lessening him to this trembling mass of emotions, positively vibrating with directionless tension. So the release would be brief, perhaps harmless, if he was lucky, but it was something he needed, something that biologically, psychologically and chronologically had to happen before his body could slump into the pathetic aftermath of his episode. He strode forward, raising an arm as he did, almost as if to hit her, and Allison took two tripping and terrified steps back. But Derrick did nothing of the sort. Instead, he let out a pained bellow of rage and heartache and reached for a picture frame near her right shoulder, tearing it from the wall and sending it sailing in the other direction.
The moment the glass crashed onto the floor and shattered into a million irreparable pieces was the moment Derrick shattered too.
A choked sob escaped him. It would have been to his horror, only he didn't care any longer. At least not at the moment. Not now when it was suddenly clear to him how desperate he was. How impossible it seemed that he would ever get out of here—that he could ever help Lukas, that Everett would ever survive, that he and Oliver would ever or could ever be, beyond the realm of their ****ed-up institution existence.
Hands shaking, always shaking, he reached out to her though he didn't realize he was doing it. "I'm sorry," he managed, though the hoarseness of his whisper made him wonder if she even understood the words. "I'm..."
Another strangled sob was threatening to bubble up his throat and burst out his lungs but he fought to stifle it. One hand had closed around the back of hers and Derrick was staring at them clasped together. Her manicured fingernails looked delicate against his own bitten ones and where his skin was dry and cracking, hers was soft, gentle and smooth.
And he loathed himself. Loathed himself for hating her, for being cruel to her and making everything so ****ing difficult, when in reality he didn't hate her at all. He felt threatened by her, frustrated by her, triggered even. Yes, triggered often. But hate was only a facade. And he wondered how she could not see right through it, just as she saw through most everything else with him. Why was it that her infuriatingly brilliant observational skills did not function when in relation to what Derrick actually wanted from her, what he was so afraid to ask for.
Sapphire eyes, sunken and sparkling with unshed tears, cut up to meet Allison's concerned gaze and he sighed out more barely audible words in a shuddering breath. "You tell anyone about this and I'll kill you."
She opened her mouth, as she always did, likely to ask what 'this' he was referring to, but she never had time to get it out because he was tugging on her hand and pulling her into his angrily hot chest. Arms wrapping around her, eyes squeezing shut, he allowed his weight to stumble back as he rested on the desk behind him, not trusting his exhausted joints not to give out on him at any moment. He clung to her, and even though his embrace bared like a shield against her smaller, slighter frame, the gesture was not about her comfort, but rather his own.
"I'm. not. strong." It was a damp, shaky breath against her cheek, his face still buried in her hair. "And." His swallow was audible and sounded as dry as it felt, bobbing down from a parched mouth and guilty tongue. "And sometimes I really hate you."
He hoped that 'hate' to her would sound just as equally loaded with bitter, regrettable fondness as he meant it to. But his voice was cracking again and he wanted to cry. Wanted to cry, but wouldn't.
"Allison. I am so much more ****ed than I thought I was. When I got here I didn't—I couldn't—" Why was this so hard? Whether the words had been in him a moment ago or not, Derrick could no longer find them now. So still shaking, he let her go, pulled away and turned his head to rub the heels of punishing palms into his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. It was the only condolences he had left now, and the words echoed in his aching head for so many other reasons. For his mother, whom he failed to protect, and for the many that had followed and were bound to follow still. Jasmine, Lukas, Oliver, Everett...
Himself.
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 14th, 2012 10:00 PM IP
-taps fingers-
-ponders-
-hits button-
I'm loving this starter
I must say the added information at the beganning really let me into the mind set of your character.
Having played opposite a character as well as having played a character who has been abusive by a parent I feel a connection to your starter.
I must say your words grabbed me from the beganning and never let me go.
I so wanted more once I was done reading
See were his new found reality will take him.
Very good job with this starter and I can't wait to work with you
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 14th, 2012 11:56 PM IP
Man! You just knocked this out of the park, didn't you?
-laugh-
-leans back in chair-
I gotta say, dude, I loved this. Even though you're playing Derrick, obviously a strong male, he's so sensitive and vulnerable in this scene but still within the boundaries of a male character. You didn't go overboard and make him feminine, which is a tricky thing to do because as we all know, we men can't express those kinds of feelings that well.
-smirk-
Then the emotions.. they were pouring out throughout the entire starter. You can really feel his pain and struggles.
But, yeah.. This was good. Real good. I enjoyed it. You should be really proud.
-claps-
I'm so jealous of Blake right now, but I know he's wanted an official team member for awhile now, so.. I guess I'll have to..
-wrinkles face-
step back..
-groan-
So hard, man.. Why do you make me do these things for you, man?
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Tyeler
Huggies, Seth, Nightrhode
Posts: 8716
Registered: Sep 2008
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Posted June 15th, 2012 09:49 PM IP
 As bad as I would like to make my claim on this too, I have to say Blake would be the best choice for you, so I can't be selfish on this.
I do love the sensitivity and strength in your male character, as Adam pointed out. Blake will be an amazing choice for you.
 
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lovelysailor
Frazz, Leah, Dust Bunny
Posts: 1546
Registered: Nov 2008
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Posted June 15th, 2012 09:53 PM IP
I wouldn't mind claiming this one either
But
as much as I hate to say this,
-grits teeth-
Cee Lo is right. Blake is the best choice for you and your character.
 {Gend: Female_or_Male}{gen: Semi-Serious}{site: http://frazzscharries.webs.com}{loc: Mason, Lillian, Lucas, Dominic and Benjamin}
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 10:19 PM IP
Let's just all say we're all in mis-er-ey...
-sighs while falling back in chair-
-throws hands up-
Well, congratulations, man! You got an awesome coach over there. Carson will put your name on the team member board.
-smiles-
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 10:59 PM IP
-jumsp up-
Yes, its about time
Mine..... Mine
Man, I couldn't ask for a better person to join my team
We are so kicking everyone's butts
-chuckles-
Live is good
I'd give you a hug but I don't to hugs
Hand shake, pat on the back
I give those out freely
But not to you Adam
Oh he!! I'm going to hug you because it will piss Adam off
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 11:04 PM IP
-falls out of chair and onto knees-
Dude... why.. Don't make me go all Adele on you, man.. it'll turn ugly fast.
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 11:10 PM IP
As if man
You don't scare me
-hugs Cash-
My team is kicking your team's A$$
-winks-
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 11:22 PM IP
Awww no...
-laugh-
No, my team will be victorious.. Just wait, man!
I don't like to lose.
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 11:23 PM IP
And yet you always lose to me
-smiles-
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 15th, 2012 11:27 PM IP
For the last time, Blake, I lost strip poker on purpose, man!
-tries his hardest not to laugh-
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Cash
Member
Posts: 12
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 04:44 AM IP
Hey so I'm so excited to be a part of the team Blake! Just keep me posted because I'm still rather at a loss of how all this works haha!
-Cash
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 10:19 AM IP
((Will do! Since Corners keeps whipping me to do things, I'm going to make her get her team forum fixed up for you, so then you can get a better idea of how the Battle Rounds will work. Of course, there will be another detail thread like what we had for the Blind Auditions, so that should help out, too!
Basically, the next round will pair you up with another team member and you'll rp with a theme, scene or plot your coach gives you until each of you have three posts to your name. Your coach then decides, based on the rp, which one will move on to the next stage.
I'm really looking forward to that one!
Anyways, best of luck! ))
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 12:35 PM IP
I'm so excited to have you as part of my team Cash
I can't wait to work with you
I'm hoping to have my forum set up within the next few days
Once it's up y'all see why it took me a bit
Prefection takes time
Man, this fun
-chuckles-
Always one to butt in Ghostie
I do believe that statement was directed towards me
-sticks tongue out-
I also don't need you nagging me about my forum
I'm working on it
I just need to find the right words for things
-chuckles-
(Edited by Blake The Corners)
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 12:49 PM IP
-smirks-
-shrugs-
I can't control what she says, man! Don't get mad at me!
-puts hands up-
((-dances in your face- I DO WHAT I WANT! xD ))
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Cash
Member
Posts: 12
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 10:40 PM IP
lol you guys are adorable. <3
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 11:12 PM IP
((Aw! I appreciate that! I mean... WE appreciate that.. -cough-...But it was mainly for me, right? xD))
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Blake The Corners
Moderator
Posts: 71
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 17th, 2012 11:41 PM IP
Man, right now I am so wishing I did not read back a few post
Adam if you ever bring up anything about you and no clothes again I will take out that restraining order faster than you can say NOooooo
-nods-
-shivers-
Damn that was bad
Once again it is not always all about you man
Adam, you so need to get over yourself
-smirks-
-nods-
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winnbair
Corners  Thread Terrorist
Posts: 18422
Registered: Sep 2008
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Posted June 17th, 2012 11:46 PM IP
On a side note
We are only adorable because we have been working on this act for almost four years.
You would think it would be better than this by now
But no, miss thing over there has to keep trying to have it her way
It's a good thing I made her sign a contract before becoming her BFF
-taps head-
That would be why I'm the smart one.
-smiles-
-snickers-
As for you Ghostie you can only do what I let you do
You would do well to remember that fact.
{Genre: Everything}{Gend: Female}{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{loc: Reid Cromwell}
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Adam LeGhostie
Administrator
Posts: 283
Registered: Jun 2012
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Posted June 18th, 2012 12:06 AM IP
-tugs at his sweater-
But... It's getting harder and harder to breathe...
-slowly begins pulling it off-
-sticks tongue out-
-laugh-
((It's true. We have mastered this thing. xD
-watches Corners with a pout-
I'm not a thing.. you're so judgmental, Corners.
Psh.. I'm my own boss.. you know it.))
{gen: Semi-SeriousPlus}{Gend: Female_or_Male}
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Charries and Canons :: The Word :: The Blind Auditions :: Sugar Coatings and Salted Wounds (Claimed by Blake) |
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