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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
 Posted September 7th, 2007 07:39 PM IP   
Zolgar, the captain of the space ship, is fascinated by Kitten's dead body, and revives him from his dead flat state. Everyone else remains gorily dead from that scene, which fortunately was blanked out, it was really full of blood and guts and - just ewwww.
"Melgok! I was accurate! These earth feline life forms are clearly the most superior entity on this orb! How fortunate that I rescued this one!"
"Yes, Captain Zolgar! You are clearly correct and worthy of your advanced rank in the Space Service."
"Hmmm. You are a good learner! You will go far Melgok! You are a good space service entity!"
"Thank you Captain Zolgar"
"Now embed this specimen in impermeable plasto-resin for eternal preservation"
"Yes Captain Zolgar! I obey!"
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted September 28th, 2007 03:20 AM IP
AND THAT WAS THE END OF POOR OLD CARROT: DIGESTED BY
A DISPLEASED MEMBER OF CCC
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted September 28th, 2007 07:11 PM IP
The poor kitty, however, becomes fatally constipated from the massive toxic dose of carrot, not a normal diet for a cat, and therefore - a highly unpleasant death despite trying various medications:
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Mr.Squid
Keeper of all Things Sane
Posts: 169
Registered: Jul 2007 |
Posted September 28th, 2007 09:43 PM IP
This guy wins. 
Anyway, since in too tired to think of anything else, I shoot you with a ray gun. Pew Pew...
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
—Abdul Alhazred, The Necronomicon
When A Cat Is Dropped, It Always Lands On Its Feet, And When Toast Is Dropped, It Always Lands Buttered Side Down.
Therefore, If A Slice Of Toast Is Strapped To A Cat's Back, Buttered Side Up, And The Animal Is Then Dropped, The Two Opposing Forces Will Cause It To Hover, Spinning Inches Above The Ground.
If Enough Toast-Laden Felines Were Used, They Could Form The Basis Of A High-Speed Monorail System.
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted September 28th, 2007 11:26 PM IP
misfire. Wep Wep...
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted September 29th, 2007 06:05 AM IP
As Kitteh jumpz away from da killah rayz he findz himself in da middle of da highway.As a big truck goes by
he goes
And is hit by a car.He is scooped up and used in a emo art
instalation/poetry reading. heh
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 2nd, 2007 09:34 PM IP
ypou achieve nothing with this experiment, and are fired. you now find yourself homeless on the streets. Where we decide to eat you *winks at mr.squid*
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 4th, 2007 02:44 AM IP
Before you can fire me...or eat me... I Eat YOU
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 4th, 2007 09:11 AM IP
I plant a bomb in your stomach and rather messily leave out the other end. You owe me big time for that, and I ain't licking myself clean.
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 5th, 2007 10:20 PM IP
A trip into the washing machine to remove the nasty bits proves less than pleasant
but Kitten is at least no longer covered with Katgoth innards.
Unfortunately due to a plumbing mistake, the washing machine was connected to gasoline instead of water. Kitten ends up running from the room in flames. Poor kitty.
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Mr.Squid
Keeper of all Things Sane
Posts: 169
Registered: Jul 2007 |
Posted October 5th, 2007 10:47 PM IP
The evil rabbit devoures your soul... nuf said.
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
—Abdul Alhazred, The Necronomicon
When A Cat Is Dropped, It Always Lands On Its Feet, And When Toast Is Dropped, It Always Lands Buttered Side Down.
Therefore, If A Slice Of Toast Is Strapped To A Cat's Back, Buttered Side Up, And The Animal Is Then Dropped, The Two Opposing Forces Will Cause It To Hover, Spinning Inches Above The Ground.
If Enough Toast-Laden Felines Were Used, They Could Form The Basis Of A High-Speed Monorail System.
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 7th, 2007 02:25 AM IP
You try to run away but alass ..you run ,trip and fall and the deadlly starfish crushes your wittle head
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 7th, 2007 09:51 PM IP
You cats can't tell them squidz apart. That was Mr. Squid's uncle Cuttle. A sad funeral followed, but once that was over, it was time for revenge, and an instant after this picture was taken, Mr. Squid ripped the face off of Katgoth.
(Meanwhile, carrot is exiting the evil bunny the same way Kitten exited Katgoth. Quite unpleasant!)
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Mr.Squid
Keeper of all Things Sane
Posts: 169
Registered: Jul 2007 |
Posted October 8th, 2007 12:38 AM IP
Wow... if we keep this up, this will have more pictures then war.
Purpul carrot (know known as purpel poop) fooled some poor farmer to replant him. Several months later, he returnrede, faster, stronger, sexeier then ever before. Moments after his re-birth, pupel poop began preparing world domination. Sadly, before he could impliment his plan, Chuck Norris roundhouse kiked him in the head. How sad.
Edit: Uncle Cuttle!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
—Abdul Alhazred, The Necronomicon
When A Cat Is Dropped, It Always Lands On Its Feet, And When Toast Is Dropped, It Always Lands Buttered Side Down.
Therefore, If A Slice Of Toast Is Strapped To A Cat's Back, Buttered Side Up, And The Animal Is Then Dropped, The Two Opposing Forces Will Cause It To Hover, Spinning Inches Above The Ground.
If Enough Toast-Laden Felines Were Used, They Could Form The Basis Of A High-Speed Monorail System.
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 8th, 2007 09:36 AM IP
Katgoth always likes to wear his halloween masks a bit early, so mr.squid only ripped off his costume. His real coat is a nice shade of greys and blacks
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 9th, 2007 10:51 PM IP
... while Kitten's is a complete black (after that last flaming exit). Well, an expensive hair transplant later, Kitten is back to his normal self.
On a return visit to the transplant doctor's office, Kitten notices something reflective on the doctor's neck. Looking closer, he sees the skin peeling away from metal. The doctor notices, rips off his mask, and exclaims "Ah, stupid cat, yes I am a robot. Now I must kill you!"
(Okay this is bad, but, oh, just humor me...)
Kitten whips out a flask of acid, and throws it on the evil robot doctor. He is stunned for just a moment, but because he is made from regenerative bio-steel ...
(Okay, this is REALLY bad)
... he is not injured, and lifts the examining table (which is really quite heavy) and smashes it down on Kitten.
Kitten's lightning quick reflexes save him, however, and he jumps out the window to safety...
...Into the path of a bus. Flat kitty.
(Finally it's over!)
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 10th, 2007 12:09 AM IP
Carrot pulls over te examine th damage he has just induced, my that is a flat kitty... wait...that flat kitty has someting in its-BOOM! HEADSHOT! Headless carrot
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 23rd, 2007 04:41 AM IP
Hei..whez everybody...???
K....Kitteh fellz asleep and drownz in soup.
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Mr.Squid
Keeper of all Things Sane
Posts: 169
Registered: Jul 2007 |
Posted October 23rd, 2007 01:09 PM IP
I unleas the terros of the deep. They proced to do terrible things to you while you sleep.
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
—Abdul Alhazred, The Necronomicon
When A Cat Is Dropped, It Always Lands On Its Feet, And When Toast Is Dropped, It Always Lands Buttered Side Down.
Therefore, If A Slice Of Toast Is Strapped To A Cat's Back, Buttered Side Up, And The Animal Is Then Dropped, The Two Opposing Forces Will Cause It To Hover, Spinning Inches Above The Ground.
If Enough Toast-Laden Felines Were Used, They Could Form The Basis Of A High-Speed Monorail System.
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 24th, 2007 09:35 PM IP
Carrot has been staggering around, headless, for some time. But no one has noticed any difference.
Hey what's this button labelled "Do Not Push, Kills any one with a head" - no, not sure if squids have heads or not.
What about this "Ultra-Power Flame Thrower" - no, Mr. Squid is under water, even that will not work.
Oh, here we go, "Industrial Pollution, Toxic Sludge, and Radioactive Waste Shipment Falls into Ocean" lever! Yes!
Poor Mr. Squid...
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Mr.Squid
Keeper of all Things Sane
Posts: 169
Registered: Jul 2007 |
Posted October 24th, 2007 10:51 PM IP
Stupid, stupid carrot. You have turned me in t a supa squid. BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.
—Abdul Alhazred, The Necronomicon
When A Cat Is Dropped, It Always Lands On Its Feet, And When Toast Is Dropped, It Always Lands Buttered Side Down.
Therefore, If A Slice Of Toast Is Strapped To A Cat's Back, Buttered Side Up, And The Animal Is Then Dropped, The Two Opposing Forces Will Cause It To Hover, Spinning Inches Above The Ground.
If Enough Toast-Laden Felines Were Used, They Could Form The Basis Of A High-Speed Monorail System.
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 25th, 2007 08:37 PM IP
All squids have a weakness. In this case, I set loose a seafood enthusiast. Not too mention everyone looking for the elusive giant squid, you are blinded by cameras and eaten by appreciative Fishy Followers.
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 26th, 2007 06:57 AM IP
With a few gallons of fine gurman tartar sauce..mmmm calamari..
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 27th, 2007 05:00 PM IP
Such a fine tasty calamari meal! After the feast, Katgoth sits down in hiz favorite chair,
Katgoth fellz asleep and drownz in soup.
(Hmmm. That sounds strangely familiar. I wonder why....)
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 28th, 2007 06:07 AM IP
because of kitten's homemade CARROT SOUP! you are eaten by myrelatives. (whats with this forum and cannabilsm?)
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 29th, 2007 08:06 PM IP
As not so long ago, Carrot was in an evil bunny's digestive system, so the carrot soup was pretty bad. Kitten's relatives became very angry at being served bunny poo soup, and stormed out of the house. In their haste, they knocked over the lamp by the front door, which broke and set fire to the curtain, burning down the house with kitten inside. The soup, however, was very much like a carrot hot tub therapy treatment, and Purple was back in the prime of health.
(no cannibalism this episode!)
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Kitten
Poetry Cat Of DOOOM!!!
Posts: 264
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 29th, 2007 10:41 PM IP
Kitteh calls upon the Ripping Friends to save him. the come and pull him out right before the house collapeses on carrot, who is absent mindedly sitting in the soup.
I r Kitten, I r universe control
I r also a turd muffin
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 29th, 2007 11:09 PM IP
Well, Kitteh and teh Ripping Friends decide to go out to a (undisclosed country) restaurant for a bite to eat, watching the house collapse had made them a bit hungry. Tthe food was very good. Excellent, in fact. They decided to come back often as the food was so good!
(* by the way I base this next part on real life happened to me last spring *)
Two days later Kitteh and friends are all in bed (not together) with fever and food poisoning.
(* this ends part based on reality *)
By the way, Kitten had used a very sturdy expensive Calfalon cooking pot, so Carrot was awaken by the noise, but protected by the pot, and not injured at all.
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Katgoth
Catnip Addict
Posts: 200
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted October 30th, 2007 07:13 AM IP
P.s.:The title iz KILL! the above..and not MAKE THEM SICK!the above poster
Which brings me to the next point..khm khm...
As Purple Carrot pullz himself out of burning building he instantlly notices that
his legs and a large portion of his lower body and abdomen is burnt away.
"At least I`m alive...the rest will grow back" , he proclaims, as a VERY large
burning stem falls directlly into his small carroty eye, thus crushing his little purple carrot skull and incinerating its remains.
On another subject..I find out that I have the ability
to BREATHE soup and become "Souper Katgoth" and return from the dead The end
I believes in teh cealing cat coz I livez in teh basement
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Purple Carrot
Vegetable
Posts: 125
Registered: Apr 2007 |
Posted November 8th, 2007 09:32 PM IP
The end?
Well, after some considerable delay, it turns out that the soup was in reality "Bad Soup"
and so Katgoth returns to the dead.
Meanwhile, a passing truck full of Miracle-Grow plant food
(for tomatoes? Humph! well, it will have to do...)
crashes while going around a curve too fast, and dumps fertilizer on Purple's ashes, allowing a miraculous re-growth and full recovery. (for like the millionth time by now)
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Cool Cats Clan :: :: Game forum :: KILL! the above poster
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